
I realize you are probably straining your eyes to figure out what exactly this is a picture of. I am sure that my wife probably has the capability to reverse this picture and make it look normal with her super-duper photo program, but at this point in the day I do not even have the desire to effort this.
This is a "
warning" citation that I received earlier today. You may be wondering what exactly did I do to merit such a piece of paper, and if so, you will enjoy this one.
I live in
Dade County, GA and this in itself is a point of contention for me. I would much rather live in the great state of Tennessee, where I was born and lived the first 24 years of my life. I moved to
Dade County almost 10 years ago when I was also serving as a youth pastor at a church in Trenton. I did this in addition to teaching, and our house was a happy medium. It was about 15 minutes from
Brainerd Baptist and about 10 minutes from the church. We really do like the lot that our house is on, and our neighbors, I just do not like that fact that it is in Georgia. For those of you who think my feelings come from my allegiance to my Vols, I must also admit that both the state income tax and the Ad-
volorem tax help heighten the feelings of disdain that I have cultivated through the years, and not simply my hate for those ugly,
pesty, Georgia Bulldogs.
Now, back to my story, because I live in
Dade County, garbage pick up is not an option. Because of this, I typically load up my truck and make a couple of trips to the dump a week (we produce a lot of trash, and a lot of recyclables!) Since we are leaving for a couple days for Christmas, I decided to take our
garbage and recyclables off today. Easy enough. Once I get to the dump, or "
Convenience Center" as they like to say. I find out that it is
conveniently closed for Christmas Eve. This makes perfect sense to me since
every time I go to the dump I see 3 or 4 prisoners dressed in orange
Dade County jumpsuits working there. I can only surmise that I falsely assumed that these guys were incarcerated. If not, why else would the "
Convenience Center" be closed the day before Christmas. They would not close merely so the prisoners could spend more "
quality time" in their cell would they? So now that I have wasted a trip to the dump and am driving home again, I happen to come upon a road block that has been set up since I left my house. As is typical for me lately, I listen to books while driving. As I pulled up to the state trooper, an older, friendly looking man, I politely smiled and said, "
May I help you sir?" For the record, let me state that I enjoy the fact that the police will set up at this
particular spot just a half mile or so away from my house, so I am more than happy to stop and show my drivers
licence and proof of insurance, since I always have these items. They will do this 3-4 times a year, and I have never had any issue.
The first words out of the officer's mouth caught me off guard. He said, "
Do you know you are breaking the law?" in a rather smug tone. I said, "
um, No Sir I did not" sensing that this was not going to be the "
pleasant" exchange that I was preparing for. The officer asked me for my license and proof of insurance and I quickly handed them to him expecting him to smile, hand them back to me, and say "
You have a Merry Christmas" and for me to drive off. At this point I would like to think that I do not look like a criminal that they hope to find at these sorts of things. Something
strange happened though. He pulled out a little book and went around to the back of my truck and began writing things down. I guess it was a safe assumption that he was not writing down the model of my truck because he was
smitten with it's power and beauty! At this point, I realized what was happening and spoke up, probably in a somewhat agitated tone. I said, "
Officer, are you giving me a ticket?" He said, "
No son, just a warning, but you should know better than to drive with earphones on in your vehicle." I responded rather smugly (I know you can not envision this)
"I thought it was safer to use a hands free device when driving sir, and those ear phones are part of my hands free device for my phone." I then pointed to the
hands free microphone that is apart of the
iPhone headphones. He wasted no time in telling me that "
I could only have 1 ear bud in at a time or else I was unsafe because I could not hear sirens and other noise that is necessary to be a safe driver." I
couldn't help but feel upset and embarrassed at the same time. It was at this point that the officer noticed that my birthday was tomorrow and decided to make small talk about it, and I was not necessarily in the mood to chat about this. As is always the case, I had to hear about some family member who also has a Christmas birthday (or the 24
th or 26
th). In this case, it was his mother who also had a birthday Dec. 23rd. So I drove off headed towards my house, which was less than a mile away thinking about the course of events that had just transpired. I came to the conclusion that if I lived in Tennessee, this never would have happened!